Goosed lately?

Welcome to Hill's Half Acre! 

I am so delighted to be able to share some of the daily musings our little homestead has to offer. First off, meet Gus, Grumpy Gus to be exact! He just appeared here. Nobody knows where he came from but he is meaner than mean. In fact, he's goosed everyone in our family. 

You see, geese like this are notorious for waiting until you break eye contact and start to turn your back. That's when they go in for the kill ambush. They lower their beaks really close to the ground and sort of float over to where you are in a fluid-like motion, (so as to not let you in on their surprise.) Then in an instant, they goose you with their powerful pincer beaks! Even though you know you should run, you can't move- your legs are numb. You can't defend yourself as you just watch in horror and scream. Geese are so naughty and it hurts like a mother when they goose!!! (Sorry mom...)

We didn't know just what to do, HE was running this joint. After I saw him attack my baby girl, Clara, while she was filling up HIS water jug, I had had enough! I stomped off to the house, grabbed my oven mitts, and returned with a vengeance! I spread my long arms out to my sides as wide as they would span, and I started to scream and follow him around. Every couple of seconds, I would smack my mitts together as I screamed and screeched. I sounded like a witch being boiled in hot oil! It was not a flattering sight but I meant business!

Thinking I was an easy target like all the rest had been, he came after me. I grabbed him by the neck, and put his beak low to the ground. I held him there while screeching at him and explaining about how I was the alpha-goose around these here parts! He wanted to be released, but I just held him there. I made sure not to hurt him, I just wanted to let him in on how things were going to be around here. After he started to calm down, I started to coo and tell him what a good boy he was as I periodically blew into his face so he would get used to my scent. I started to pet/scratch (the best you can while wearing thick, cotton-y oven mitts...) his neck. He decided that he may have, in the least little bit, kinda sorta started to seem to like it, and since it felt a teeny tiny bit pleasant, maybe he would NOT try to peck my eyes out... this time.

Now, it's been 3 months, I have retired my oven mitts,  and Grumpy Gus and I have this on going love affair. He hears me talking to the kids when we are out in the back yard, and he calls for me. I call back. He greets me at the gate, just waiting for me to scratch his neck and to tell him all the beautiful things about him. (He loves to be oohed and aahed over... much like a husband.) He loves to climb into my lap and to nestle against me. I am totally smitten with him. He makes me feel like I am the most important person in the world and in his beady little eyes... I am!

(As for the rest of the family... they still have to watch their backs!)